Couple jokes to share

Mach1Run · 07-31-2005, 06:29 PM

May be roast but i hadnt heard em before.

"When a young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars." "Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."

So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!"

The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?! "

The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"

The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"

The boy replied, "Yes... Potentially, you and I are sitting on Three Million Dollars..............but Realistically,......... we're living with two Sluts and a Queer.

---------------

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check."

"Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled,

"Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!"

JonJon · 07-31-2005, 06:39 PM

hah

**DuckyBubbles05** · 07-31-2005, 06:40 PM

nice

Danre · 07-31-2005, 06:50 PM

Haha, I've heard the first one before, but the second one is nice.

tomustang · 07-31-2005, 07:29 PM

ha

**U r B a N 96** · 07-31-2005, 07:50 PM

lol nice

IllusionI8 · 07-31-2005, 08:48 PM

ive heard the second one. . but the first one. . . hahaha. . lol

Danre · 07-31-2005, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IllusionI8

ive heard the second one. . but the first one. . . hahaha. . lol

OMG, just the opposite.

UCBeau · 07-31-2005, 10:50 PM

comedy

**jdv** · 07-31-2005, 11:07 PM

I didn't read the joke, whats going on here

Mach1Run · 08-02-2005, 06:33 AM

more funnies!

Oldie but goodie

Teaching Math In 1950:

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of
production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1960:

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of
production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970:

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of
production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math In 1980:

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of
production is $80 and his profit is $20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990:

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit
of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class
participation after answering the question: How did the birds and
squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
answers.)

Teaching Math In 2005:

Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para $100. El costo de
la produccisn es $80 ...

-------------------------------

On their way to get married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter shows up, they asked him. St. Peter says, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves.

The couple sat and waited for an answer...... for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get married in Heaven, SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all.

"What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together FOREVER?"

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you CAN get married in Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"OH, COME ON!!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?

--------------------------

Faaip de Oiad · 08-02-2005, 07:10 AM

What'd Hellen Keller do when she fell off a cliff?

She screamed her hands off.

Mach1Run · 08-02-2005, 07:44 AM

lol

JonJon · 08-02-2005, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greensix

Teaching Math In 1990:

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit
of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class
participation after answering the question: How did the birds and
squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
answers.)

Teaching Math In 2005:

Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para $100. El costo de
la produccisn es $80 ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greensix

"OH, COME ON!!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?

JonJon · 08-02-2005, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jadesville

I didn't read the joke, whats going on here

what you doing in the thread then? you missed the point mang

Danre · 08-02-2005, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonJon

**jdv** · 08-02-2005, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonJon

what you doing in the thread then? you missed the point mang

I'm lost.

Mach1Run · 08-02-2005, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jadesville

I'm lost.

keep turning left in the maze and eventually you'll find your way out.

natronathon · 08-04-2005, 12:22 PM

shit those are funny!

Mach1Run · 08-11-2005, 05:26 AM

came across a couple more

---------------------------
Two boys are out playing in the yard, and they heard two girls walking by and they were talking about a penis. So, one boy asked the other "what a Penis was"?
The other said "I don't know, I will go ask my Dad".

So, the boy walked in and asked his Dad, "What a Penis was"? The Dad said "Well Son, Zip,Flop! This is a Penis, as a matter of fact this is a Perfect Penis!"
The son said, "Thanks Dad" and walks outside to his friend.

He gets outside and his friend asked him "Well did you find out what it was"?
The kid said "Yes"..Kind of depressed "Well ZIP, FLOP, This is a Penis, If it was 3 inches shorter, it would be a PERFECT PENIS!"
-----------------------------------

(oldie but goodie)

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the
girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would
like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so
he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The
pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy
everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms
he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy
insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and
meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to
meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the
girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace
and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his
head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend
leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you
were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was
a pharmacist."
---------------------------------------

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and used them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These darn girls nights have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst ... my wife came home with no panties!"

"That's nothing" said the other husband.

"Mine came back with a card stuck in the crack of her butt that said, "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you."

UCBeau · 08-11-2005, 10:42 AM

hahaah

**Rowbarre** · 08-11-2005, 11:31 AM

those are pretty funny... keep em coming

Mach1Run · 08-12-2005, 10:40 AM

David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers

10) HAVE TO SIT UPRIGHT WHILE DRIVING.

9) PISTOL WON'T STAY UNDER FRONT SEAT.

8) ENGINES DROWN OUT THE RAP MUSIC.

7) PIT CREW CAN'T WORK ON CAR WHILE HOLDING UP PANTS AT THE SAME TIME.

6) THEY KEEP TRYING TO CARJACK DALE, JR.

5) POLICE CARS ON TRACK INTERFERE WITH RACE.

4) NO PASSENGER SEAT FOR THE HO.

3) THERE ARE NO SPONSORS FOR CADILLAC.

2) CAN'T WEAR HELMET SIDEWAYS.

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR:

1) WHEN THEY CRASH THEIR CAR THEY BAIL OUT AND RUN.

-------------------------------

A Lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriffs Deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputies expense...

Deputy says, "License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What for?"

Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."

Lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!"

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket."

Deputy says, "Exit your vehicle, sir."

At this point, the Deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the Lawyer and says...

"DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP OR JUST SLOW DOWN?"

Meghan · 08-12-2005, 12:45 PM

haha those are great....i always thought this joke was awesome when i was little:

there are three reserchers in the jungle of africa, reserching a very sucluded tribe. They were hiding out in the top of a tree hoping to get a closer look at the tribe when they are spotted. They are forced out and made to line up infront of the chief for their punishment. They are told they have two options bunga bunga or death. The first resercher decideds that bunga bunga could not be any worse than death, and he might be able to go home afterwards, so he declairs 'i will take bunga bunga.' There was a mumer around the tribe. the chief then orders for the man to take off his pants, and bend over. All the men in then proceeds to have sex with this man. when everyone has had their turn the man is allowed to leave. the second man is posed with the same questoin. he debates which is worse and decideds that death is much worse than being done in the butt. 'I will take bunga bunga.' The men again have sex with this man, and he is allowed to leave. The third resercher thought to himself there is no way he would let another man have sex with him, he would take death over that. so with that decision made he declairs 'I will take death.' The tribe goes quiet and looks at the chief who has a huge smile on his face and declairs in a loud booming voice "DEATH BY BUNGA BUNGA!"

IllusionI8 · 08-12-2005, 01:09 PM

hahhah...

07-31-2005, 06:29 PM	#1
Mach1Run the court jester Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Wylie, Texas Posts: 5,539	Couple jokes to share May be roast but i hadnt heard em before. "When a young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars." "Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?! " The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes... Potentially, you and I are sitting on Three Million Dollars..............but Realistically,......... we're living with two Sluts and a Queer. --------------- Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check." "Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!" When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!" __________________ Jon 433 RWHP / 439 TQ (STD) CLICK for Kate's Story Click to Listen Eaton Swap, T56 Transmission, MGW Short Shifter, Chrome 17x9 and 17x10.5 FR500s, Eibach Sportlines, Steeda CC plates, SLP Linelock, Cobra Skirts, Wing Removed, Bassani O/R X and catback. Tune and swap done by Gearheads Performance in Arlington, TX. My 2007 GT

07-31-2005, 06:39 PM	#2
JonJon Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: snowboarding Posts: 28,164	hah __________________

07-31-2005, 06:40 PM	#3
DuckyBubbles05 I'll pass on the knife fuck, thanks. Bejeweled Champion! Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Kansas City, Missouri Posts: 9,518	nice __________________ ~Rebecca~

07-31-2005, 07:29 PM	#5
tomustang Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Northampton County, Pa Posts: 1,686	ha __________________ Tom ©

07-31-2005, 07:50 PM	#6
U r B a N 96 Bringin sexy back Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Syracuse, NY Posts: 8,207	lol nice __________________

07-31-2005, 06:50 PM	#4
Danre ahhh, I'm me again Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Joo Ez Aay Posts: 14,434	Haha, I've heard the first one before, but the second one is nice.

07-31-2005, 08:48 PM	#7
IllusionI8 Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in a house of doors and windows Posts: 717	ive heard the second one. . but the first one. . . hahaha. . lol

07-31-2005, 10:50 PM	#9
UCBeau Legendary Veteran Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: San Diego Posts: 8,602	comedy __________________ 01 Zinc Yellow Cobra Coupe 283 ci built motor s-trim/intercooler/snow kit

07-31-2005, 11:07 PM	#10
jdv the polarbear conservation corps protects a polarbear homie straight outa' compton because polarbears love klondike bars Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Portland, OR Posts: 34,186	I didn't read the joke, whats going on here

08-02-2005, 06:33 AM	#11
Mach1Run the court jester Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Wylie, Texas Posts: 5,539	more funnies! Oldie but goodie Teaching Math In 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math In 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? Teaching Math In 1970: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit? Teaching Math In 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. Teaching Math In 1990: A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.) Teaching Math In 2005: Un hachero vende una carretada de madera para $100. El costo de la produccisn es $80 ... ------------------------------- On their way to get married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they asked him. St. Peter says, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sat and waited for an answer...... for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get married in Heaven, SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together FOREVER?" After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you CAN get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer? -------------------------- __________________ Jon 433 RWHP / 439 TQ (STD) CLICK for Kate's Story Click to Listen Eaton Swap, T56 Transmission, MGW Short Shifter, Chrome 17x9 and 17x10.5 FR500s, Eibach Sportlines, Steeda CC plates, SLP Linelock, Cobra Skirts, Wing Removed, Bassani O/R X and catback. Tune and swap done by Gearheads Performance in Arlington, TX. My 2007 GT

08-02-2005, 07:10 AM	#12
Faaip de Oiad Van Damme stole my appendix. Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Md Posts: 14,026	What'd Hellen Keller do when she fell off a cliff? She screamed her hands off.

08-02-2005, 07:44 AM	#13
Mach1Run the court jester Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Wylie, Texas Posts: 5,539	lol __________________ Jon 433 RWHP / 439 TQ (STD) CLICK for Kate's Story Click to Listen Eaton Swap, T56 Transmission, MGW Short Shifter, Chrome 17x9 and 17x10.5 FR500s, Eibach Sportlines, Steeda CC plates, SLP Linelock, Cobra Skirts, Wing Removed, Bassani O/R X and catback. Tune and swap done by Gearheads Performance in Arlington, TX. My 2007 GT

08-04-2005, 12:22 PM	#19
natronathon Legendary Veteran Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Wichita, KS Posts: 1,888	shit those are funny! __________________ Nathan LS1 Camaro Owner (No Mullett)

08-11-2005, 05:26 AM	#20
Mach1Run the court jester Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Wylie, Texas Posts: 5,539	came across a couple more --------------------------- Two boys are out playing in the yard, and they heard two girls walking by and they were talking about a penis. So, one boy asked the other "what a Penis was"? The other said "I don't know, I will go ask my Dad". So, the boy walked in and asked his Dad, "What a Penis was"? The Dad said "Well Son, Zip,Flop! This is a Penis, as a matter of fact this is a Perfect Penis!" The son said, "Thanks Dad" and walks outside to his friend. He gets outside and his friend asked him "Well did you find out what it was"? The kid said "Yes"..Kind of depressed "Well ZIP, FLOP, This is a Penis, If it was 3 inches shorter, it would be a PERFECT PENIS!" ----------------------------------- (oldie but goodie) A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist." --------------------------------------- Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and used them. Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home. The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These darn girls nights have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst ... my wife came home with no panties!" "That's nothing" said the other husband. "Mine came back with a card stuck in the crack of her butt that said, "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you." __________________ Jon 433 RWHP / 439 TQ (STD) CLICK for Kate's Story Click to Listen Eaton Swap, T56 Transmission, MGW Short Shifter, Chrome 17x9 and 17x10.5 FR500s, Eibach Sportlines, Steeda CC plates, SLP Linelock, Cobra Skirts, Wing Removed, Bassani O/R X and catback. Tune and swap done by Gearheads Performance in Arlington, TX. My 2007 GT

08-11-2005, 10:42 AM	#21
UCBeau Legendary Veteran Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: San Diego Posts: 8,602	hahaah __________________ 01 Zinc Yellow Cobra Coupe 283 ci built motor s-trim/intercooler/snow kit


darkmesa Advertisement	Sponsored links

08-11-2005, 11:31 AM	#22
Rowbarre Doesn't give blow jobs, and that's a good thing! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Lawrence, Kansas Posts: 3,705	those are pretty funny... keep em coming

08-12-2005, 10:40 AM	#23
Mach1Run the court jester Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Wylie, Texas Posts: 5,539	David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers 10) HAVE TO SIT UPRIGHT WHILE DRIVING. 9) PISTOL WON'T STAY UNDER FRONT SEAT. 8) ENGINES DROWN OUT THE RAP MUSIC. 7) PIT CREW CAN'T WORK ON CAR WHILE HOLDING UP PANTS AT THE SAME TIME. 6) THEY KEEP TRYING TO CARJACK DALE, JR. 5) POLICE CARS ON TRACK INTERFERE WITH RACE. 4) NO PASSENGER SEAT FOR THE HO. 3) THERE ARE NO SPONSORS FOR CADILLAC. 2) CAN'T WEAR HELMET SIDEWAYS. AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR: 1) WHEN THEY CRASH THEIR CAR THEY BAIL OUT AND RUN. ------------------------------- A Lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a Sheriffs Deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the Deputy because he is sure that he has a better education. He decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the deputies expense... Deputy says, "License and registration, please." Lawyer says, "What for?" Deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." Lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming." Deputy says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please." Lawyer says, "What's the difference?" Deputy says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop, that's the law. License and registration, please!" Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket, if not you let me go and no ticket." Deputy says, "Exit your vehicle, sir." At this point, the Deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving crap out of the Lawyer and says... "DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP OR JUST SLOW DOWN?" __________________ Jon 433 RWHP / 439 TQ (STD) CLICK for Kate's Story Click to Listen Eaton Swap, T56 Transmission, MGW Short Shifter, Chrome 17x9 and 17x10.5 FR500s, Eibach Sportlines, Steeda CC plates, SLP Linelock, Cobra Skirts, Wing Removed, Bassani O/R X and catback. Tune and swap done by Gearheads Performance in Arlington, TX. My 2007 GT

08-12-2005, 12:45 PM	#24
Meghan David tried PIITB to me but was denied due to sub par equipment Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: in a house Posts: 7,496	haha those are great....i always thought this joke was awesome when i was little: there are three reserchers in the jungle of africa, reserching a very sucluded tribe. They were hiding out in the top of a tree hoping to get a closer look at the tribe when they are spotted. They are forced out and made to line up infront of the chief for their punishment. They are told they have two options bunga bunga or death. The first resercher decideds that bunga bunga could not be any worse than death, and he might be able to go home afterwards, so he declairs 'i will take bunga bunga.' There was a mumer around the tribe. the chief then orders for the man to take off his pants, and bend over. All the men in then proceeds to have sex with this man. when everyone has had their turn the man is allowed to leave. the second man is posed with the same questoin. he debates which is worse and decideds that death is much worse than being done in the butt. 'I will take bunga bunga.' The men again have sex with this man, and he is allowed to leave. The third resercher thought to himself there is no way he would let another man have sex with him, he would take death over that. so with that decision made he declairs 'I will take death.' The tribe goes quiet and looks at the chief who has a huge smile on his face and declairs in a loud booming voice "DEATH BY BUNGA BUNGA!" __________________ Meghan Life is like a dick; when it gets hard Fuck It. Last edited by Meghan; 08-12-2005 at 01:01 PM.

08-12-2005, 01:09 PM	#25
IllusionI8 Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in a house of doors and windows Posts: 717	hahhah...

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